Thursday, September 12, 2013

Confessions Of a First Time Mom: Month 11

This has been a bittersweet month. It is so fun to watch Isaac grow, but we’ve been without Dad now for a few weeks. Michael started a new job in Texas on September 3rd so he left on the 1st. Isaac & I have been packing, cleaning, & missing Dada terribly! I will admit that I do love all the extra cuddles because Dad’s not there to steal some… :) But hopefully by the beginning of October we will be reunited!

IMG_6932Helping Dada pack… :(

Best moment of the month: He said Mama! It may be one of the most tender feelings you’ll ever have, when your baby looks at you and says, “Mama.”

But let’s be honest: Isaac loves men. Seriously. He will go straight to one he’s never met, go out of sight from Mom & Dad, cuddle, & be held by any man. Bill the Electrician? Loved him. Random men in the nursery at church? Love all of them. Grandpas at the grocery store who stop to say hi? I swear he would go home with them if I let him. But when you hand him over to a woman, even if Mom or Dad is right there, even if it’s Auntie Anna, who he’s known since day 1, he’s not ok with that. Just this morning I was holding him at church & he reached out for one of our pastors who held him for a bit. When I took him back, he reached out to get back to Steve & cried until we got to the car!

He now has 5 1/2 wee little baby teeth (the 1/2 is just about to break through), 4 words (Mama, Dada, Zzzzz (for Grizzly, which he calls all dogs), and Nana (which we don’t know what that’s referring to quite yet)), he’s almost walking (!), and can stand for a good 5 seconds on his own. I am so excited for his first birthday next month!

Officially a Distraction

There was a time when we could take sweet baby Isaac to a restaurant, or out to ice cream, or whatever, & still have a nice adult conversation. We could look each other in the eyes & just bask in how lucky we are to have such a wonderful baby & to have the amazing life we do. Every now & then we would look over at baby Isaac & he would most likely just be staring at something. Possibly sucking on a pacifier or handling the same toy for 20 minutes. We were so peaceful. We wondered why people got babysitters & didn’t just take their precious angels with them when they wanted a date.

Then baby Isaac turned to almost-toddler Isaac. We rarely enjoy such peace & calm at restaurants anymore. Don’t get me wrong, Isaac is still a wonderful baby. But he’s so… active. He doesn’t stop grabbing for things, trying to get down, testing the flavors of everything, and throwing things. He’s nonstop. Restaurants are dangerous. Salt & pepper shakers spill. Knives are usually on the table when you get there. Crayons are too tempting to chew. Menus are fun to lick (gross). And food is just generally fun to throw. We still like to go out to eat, but he demands so much attention that I definitely wouldn’t qualify it as a date for the parents anymore.

We need a babysitter. And, if you read above, it must be a man…

Confession: We were at the restaurant Hops in Lakewood & sat in a booth. I let Isaac sit on the booth seat next to the wall because he was a little fussy & I’m sure wouldn’t like to be strapped down in the high chair quite yet. I’m trying to get myself situated, while watching him, while choosing something I might find decent from the menu, when Mike says from across the table, “Ooo” with wide eyes. Isaac fell off the booth seat & onto the floor under the table. Of course he starts screaming, and I awkwardly reach under the table to pick him up while trying not to smash his head (again) on the table. He’s doing the crying thing where he’s not really breathing, so I take my blue faced baby past all the concerned faces & out the front door. He’s ok & eventually calms down, so we go back to our table. Not the end. When we are finally eating, I had just taken a bite of my Reuben sandwich, when the lady from the table catty corner to us comes up and says, “I want to see the little baby that fell off the table. Are you ok?” I’m chewing & trying to giggle at her very-not-funny joke. She plays with him for awhile & finally leaves. People around us keep smiling empathetically. Like they’ve never dropped a baby. C’mon.

Go Go Gadget Baby

Somehow, being 2 feet tall, he’s able to reach almost anything. I swear. I don’t understand. Tables, desks, upper shelves, even the kitchen counters aren’t safe anymore. He reached onto the desk & pulled a dog bowl of water all over himself. He cried but I laughed. Because it was funny! He pulled the camera off the kitchen counter & clonked himself in the face. I didn’t laugh that time. Neither did Michael. That’s an expensive camera. He loves to open & close drawers & pull everything he can out of them. And he usually closes them without smashing a finger.

You think you’re putting something out of arm’s reach, in a safe place. You’re extra careful about putting cups, scissors, the remote, small things, & breakable things in a place the baby can’t reach. Then all of a sudden he’s spilled the cup, he’s smiling because he thinks holding scissors is fun, he’s reprogrammed your TV, he’s eating something your not sure how dangerous it was, & he’s snapped your sunglasses in half. All in 30 seconds. It’s amazing.

Confession: Just imagine everything that has spilled, broken, cracked, fallen, or disappeared from shelves. Oh, and Isaac literally pulled a shelf off the entertainment center & sliced his forehead. Totally his fault. This Mama is not taking blame for that. ;-)

IMG_6977Attacking Mama. With a little slice on his head… No biggie.

No Screens. Absolutely No Screens.

Ok, so I look back at how I thought I would parent, & already I’ve let up on a lot that I thought I’d be strict about! So, I said I didn’t want Isaac exposed to screens as a baby. Phones, TV, IPod, tablets, computers, etc. You get the gist. And honestly I do try to limit the amount of time he’s staring at a screen (because that’s what he does- stares in awe) because I just don’t think that exposure can be good for baby’s brains. Sometimes watching the TV gives me a headache. I’m also a firm believer that TV does not help you fall asleep, & the good Lord knows we don’t need anything else hindering Isaac getting a good night’s rest. So, I do try to limit screen time.

With that said, it’s like babies gravitate towards your phone! Why is this the absolute only thing you will be happy playing with right now?!? Let’s preface with the fact that my phone costs 10 bucks. I’m not super attached or worried about him breaking it (in fact, please do!). If I had a fancy schmany phone, I might protect it a little more. I hope this is normal, but Isaac is at the age where he seems to associate getting what he wants with being happy. If you take something that he wants, or he can’t do something that he wants, he ain’t happy. And what makes Baby stop crying? Oh here! Take my phone!IMG_7097IMG_7095

            

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Ok and let’s talk about TV for a minute. In case you live under a rock, you know that football season has started. What am I supposed to do, like, not watch?!? You crazy?? I live in DENVER. (Go Broncos!)

Confession: Maybe I am teaching my son to cry enough to he gets what he wants. Maybe if I get a better phone (hint hint) I'll take a little better care of it. Maybe I shouldn’t let him chew on my IPod. Maybe I should set boundaries & stick to what is & isn’t ok. But you know what? Sometimes a woman’s just gotta have some time to put on some mascara! Let it be.

Pray

Oh dear, you’re thinking. Here goes the weird religious girl again. Ok, wait. Before you skip this section, hear me out. We as parents want the best for our kids, right? And if you’re anything like me, you’ll do anything & everything in your power to give your kids the best life you can. See, we’re not so different after all… Anyways, my belief is that yes, I will do everything I can for my child, but there really is only so much I can do. I try to keep him safe, but he still falls down stairs. I try to eliminate dangers, but he still gets into things he shouldn’t. I don’t want to see him cry, but he still does. I try to protect him, but he’s still going to get hurt. As much as I hate to admit it, I have limited control over his life. And I’d rather be in communication with the God who is in control of what I’m not, rather than just hoping I can control his life enough to keep him safe. Put the weight on His shoulders instead of trying to carry that yourself. Now, if you don’t believe in God, ok! Think of this as hopes & wishes for your child. Speaking them out loud & writing them down is very powerful!

Physically: I pray for a healthy body free of disease & sickness. I pray for strength & I pray against any accidents that may cause harm to him. And I pray he would love sports (sorry, ok that’s not serious. Actually yes, yes it is. But that’s not in the Bible so I will accept that as secondary importance).

3 John 1:2 says, “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”

Mentally: I pray Isaac would have a strong mind, seeking knowledge & understanding. I pray he would enjoy & thrive in school. I pray he would not be ignorant of his beliefs about the world. I pray he would see the value in lifelong learning. I pray he would not become boastful or prideful but would always stay humble, knowing that God is the supreme wise one.

James 3:17 says, “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

Emotionally: I pray he will experience & express emotions in a healthy way from a young age. I pray he would be empathetic & compassionate with those he is close with. I pray he would love deeply & be able to express his love through actions & words.

Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Socially: I pray he would have many close friends who share the same values & morals. I pray he would be a leader among his friends to display strong character & integrity. I pray he would boldly stand up to those who are hurting others. I pray he would not fall into following the crowd & doing the wrong thing because of peer pressure. I pray he would be a courageous man.

Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Spiritually: I pray, more than anything else, that God would capture his heart from a young age & show him the joy of a life devoted to serving Christ. I pray he would believe, not because his dad & I do, but because he really believes it & experiences faith on his own, as his choice.

Acts 4:12 says, “And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

Sexually (if you think it’s weird to pray for your son sexually, just take 3 seconds to watch a TV commercial, look through the magazine isle at the store, or browse a sports website & you’ll see why these innocent young boys need our prayers for protection in our extremely sexualized culture): I pray his eyes & mind would be protected from sexual images, I pray he would flee from sexual immorality, I pray he would never view or especially develop an addiction to pornography, I pray he would wait to be with a woman until marriage (wow, now she’s really getting weird), and finally I pray he would honor all women as whole beings, not just sexual objects.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God”

Finally, I pray for me. I pray for strength to be involved when I’m tired. I pray for discernment to do what’s right when disciplining & teaching him. I pray for wisdom to know how to handle difficult situations which are bound to come. I pray for a healthy marriage to be an example to him of what love should be like. I pray for answers to questions that I know he’ll ask but I don’t have answers for. I pray that he would always know how much I love him.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Confession: I don’t think I have ever prayed for anything more earnestly as I have prayed for sleep. For Isaac to sleep, for me to sleep. I’m serious. I have begged and pleaded with God to let us sleep. And although at the time it seemed so incredibly important, I look at the list I created above & realize that in the grand scheme of life, sleep is almost the lowest thing on the priority list. Yes, life is hard without sleep, but baby-sleep-deprivation really is a short period of life that will pass. Not that it’s wrong to pray for sleep, but when I think about praying for my son’s character vs. praying for one night of sleep, I’m almost embarrassed that I have prayed so hard for sleep but so little for the bigger things…

IMG_7014 I pray for this little man every night before bed! I can’t wait to see what kind of boy & man he becomes! God has blessed us abundantly & I am so thankful!!

 

Sorry there aren’t too many pictures. My camera card is packed away somewhere & I’ll probably find it in 6 months. Well, next time I write Isaac will be one year! And hopefully we will be reunited with Dad! Love you all, thank you for sticking with me for so long!!

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