Confessions of a First Time Mom: Month 5

What a wonderful month we’ve had! Isaac is becoming so much more aware of his surroundings, he is as squirmy as a worm, he’s laughing, he’s interested in everything, & every day is a joy to watch him learn & grow! Here’s some highlights of what this FTM is learning! Isaac is 5 months old!

Let Me Give You Some Advice: I always got frustrated whenever someone would dole out advice before we had Isaac. You get a lot of it, but little did I realize that these people weren’t necessarily trying to tell me what to do, they were trying to help. There’s value in listening to someone who has been there! Of course, there will always be advice that isn’t helpful or realistic or applicable to your situation, which you are free to ignore, but I wish I wasn’t so quick to roll my eyes & forget what the mom-of-four was trying to tell me. It may have made some things easier if I would have been more quick to listen.

The most common piece of advice we got before Isaac was born was to get him on a schedule. Now, there’s a lot of differing opinions here, & I have my own, but I will say that having him on a loose, flexible schedule is the best decision we’ve made so far. I wish I would have done it earlier!

Another one was probably the most common saying on the face of the planet (you’ll hear it every other second) & although the repetition does get annoying, it’s true: They grow up so fast! Make yourself enjoy every day. Make yourself slow down & spend some time just cuddling. Make yourself put down your phone. Make yourself put away the camera & enjoy the cute moments instead of trying to get the perfect photo of it. And in the hard moments, remind yourself that everything is temporary. Every good & bad thing you go through is temporary. Enjoy it!!

He’s standing! With help, of course. :-)

Confession: I swore I wouldn’t be that mom who gave out advice, but here I am, with only 5 months of parenting experience under my belt, & I’m giving it to you, whether you want it or not! ;-) Disclaimer: Not all of you will agree with me, & that’s fine, but this is my opinion from what I’ve learned with our son.

#1: Nursing Isaac to sleep every night in his first few months was a bad decision. I would nurse him until he was deeply asleep & if he woke up when I laid him down, I would pick him right back up & nurse him again. I wish I would have nursed, burped, kissed & cuddled, & then put him down to fall asleep in his crib. Same goes for naps. I would nurse him to sleep & just let him stay in whatever position he fell asleep. As much as it was nice to be so close to my baby, next time around I will put him down for naps too.

#2: Nursing on-demand is nice because you don’t have to watch the clock, you just nurse your baby whenever you think he’s hungry. But I came to realize that if you’re going to nurse whenever he wants during the day, you better be ready to nurse whenever he wants at night. It’s not fair to expect him to follow my schedule at night when he’s had his own way during the day. So we started a feeding schedule, day & night, that I control more than he does. This has been a HUGE help in getting him to sleep longer at night.

#3: Not all crying is bad. In the early days, I would rush in to stop Isaac from crying because I hated the sound. I still hate the sound, but now I know that his crying doesn’t necessarily mean he needs me to rush in to save him. He will often wake up crying/fussing/whining & fall back asleep in a few minutes. If I rush in there, I’m unnecessarily waking him up further, making him more upset! By us letting him fuss a little more before we intervene, we believe we are teaching him to fall back asleep on his own. And you know what, it’s working!

Disclaimer here: Ok, so, I have to say that in the beginning I think you should always respond to your crying baby. I also have to say that if he’s really wailing or screaming, we’ll go in to him. We don’t really ignore our son’s cries, we’ve just come to believe that we don’t have to shelter him from “expressing himself” all the time.

#4: Lastly, I would advise any of you parents or parents-to-be to seek out advice from many different sources. Before Isaac was born, I believed strongly in one kind of parenting philosophy, & I didn’t do much exploration on different styles of parenting. I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t read books. I just had my beliefs about how I wanted to parent & I stuck with that. But then Isaac came along. And because I didn’t know anything else, I was forcing him into what I thought was the best parenting style & it wasn’t until 3 months later I realized I needed to get additional input. At that time I started asking questions, seeking out alternatives & finding different methods. I wish I wouldn’t have been so stubborn in the beginning & instead been more open to listening to advice & meshing everything I learned into my own, unique parenting style.

 I love my son so incredibly much. You can’t say that because I do this method or don’t do that method that I love him any less. I do everything for him in the best way I can.

But Joy Comes with the Morning: It’s amazing how different the challenge is to care for a crying baby at night when it’s dark compared to during the day when the sun is out. When the baby cries & you have to get out of bed in the middle of the night, for the third time, you feel so hopeless that things are ever going to change. When he doesn’t go straight back to sleep, you feel like you just can’t do this anymore, you’re to your breaking point, you just want to sleep! Then, this miraculous thing happens once the sun comes up. You realize you don’t feel as tired as you thought you would, you don’t feel as desperate as you thought you did, & you think back to the middle of the night & realize it wasn’t so bad. Really, everything looks better when the sun comes up!

‘Good morning Mama!’ And suddenly I can’t even remember how many times I got up last night!

Confession: I do, on occasion, turn off the volume on the baby monitor when Isaac first starts to fuss at night. I figure I can hear him from the next room if he gets really upset, & he often puts himself back to sleep anyways. Getting awakened at 3am by a baby cry doesn’t exactly stir up emotions of love & affection. But before you think I’m a bad mom for ignoring my baby, I will assure you that I do… eventually… get up. Most of the time. :-)

Babies Don’t Fit Into a Formula: I’m the kind of person who loves algebra, loves to-do lists, loves step by step instructions, & loves schedules. You go through the process in a logical order & you get the outcome you’re promised. A+B=C. Make the grocery list, go to the store, & you can follow your recipe to make dinner. Put the A screws in the A slots & you have a sturdy crib. We each have our own color marker for events on our family calendar. I am a lover of all things logical.

Let me blow your mind here: Babies are not logical. Babies do not fit into a formula.

Oh, how I wish they did. I wish someone could tell me exactly when to feed him, exactly how long to play with him, & exactly what time to put him to sleep so he will sleep a blissful 10 hours straight. Oh how I wish. However, if I have learned anything, I have learned that babies don’t always go by your schedule. Babies don’t always give you the result you want. No matter how hard you may try to set up the perfect formula, I guarantee it won’t always go according to plan. Inevitably, a wrench gets thrown in the schedule. Make that 10 wrenches. Baby wakes early from his nap; Baby gets a cold; Baby hits a growth spurt; Baby didn’t sleep in the car like you had planned; Baby is tired early. What a beautiful lesson in self-sacrifice & flexibility. As most good lessons are, it’s not easy, but I can see how through this process of caring for an infant, I am becoming (slowly but surely) less rigid & more accommodating to his needs above my own. How beautiful is that!

My baby got his first cold! That sure threw a wrench in our sleeping schedule… 

Confession: I have read many books & talked to many people & I can’t say I 100% agree with any of them! I’ve taken my own approach to parenting & I am more confident now than I ever was before! I’ve read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, Attachment Parenting by Dr. William & Martha Sears, & On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo. I’ve gone to a sleep class, for goodness sakes. I’ve talked to many moms about their methods. And I’ve taken pieces from everything & made my own parenting style. I encourage all parents to do the same!

Being a SAHM is… What in the world is she talking about? If you’re a SAHM, you know the lingo. but if not, I’ll share: Stay at Home Mom. Actually, I would classify myself a WAHM (Work-At-Home-Mom) because I do work 24 hours a week from home. These days, you don’t find a lot of SAHMs because our culture encourages & almost requires a dual income household. I knew from long before we had Isaac that I wanted to be a SAHM. I am so thankful to get to spend the days home with my baby because I know that most moms go back to work. I’ll tell you, it is great, wonderful, awesome, fantastic, amazing; it feels right, it’s a blessing, a dream come true. I get to see all his smiles. I get to watch him drift off to sleep. I get to have all the playtime in the world. We get to exercise in the middle of the day (let’s be clear: by exercise I simply mean put Isaac in a stroller & take a walk around the neighborhood…).  I love it & I wouldn’t want it any other way. But. It’s also… lonely… hard… tiring… mundane… repetitive… solitary… I am alone, in my home, with a desperately needy, sometimes loud infant who doesn’t understand a single word I say, for 9-10 hours a day.

  Watching him learn to blow raspberries…            We get to play in the snow together…

 

                 He helps with the laundry…                                             We exercise…

                  We take lots of pictures…                                         We play with coconut oil…

Before you say it, stop here. It’s not as easy as you would think to just get out. Seems like a simple solution, right? *Sarcastic laugh.* Isaac is awake for only 2 hours at a time, & in that time he has to eat & get at least one diaper change. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for getting out. Even a quick trip to the grocery store has to be timed perfectly so the whole schedule isn’t thrown off. Before you think you have a solution, I guarantee you it’s just not that easy.

I love to be home with my baby! It truly is a blessing!

 More than that, it can be a challenge to find significance in this season of life. I know in my head that I am doing a very important job, but I don’t always feel that in my heart. Amidst the many diaper changes, the hours spent shh-ing, repeating “Blue. That’s a blue circle,” over and over and over and OVER, it can be difficult to see the significance in my day. I question if I am, right now, really doing anything that matters. We all want our lives to mean something, don’t we? And I think, am I changing the world? Well, no. But I have to think… am I changing his world? Yes. There is my significance. I am important to him. I am his lifeline. I am his first provider, teacher, caregiver, encourager, and while the world may not feel the impact of the billion kisses I give Isaac every day, he feels it. It doesn’t mean I always change diapers, clean spit up, & rock a crying baby cheerfully, but it does mean that I keep doing it because I make a difference to him.

Confession: I get why so many moms post to facebook throughout the day. Earlier in my life I would sometimes think to myself, “Sheesh, get off facebook & go enjoy your kid already.” I even had a plan to only check facebook & email twice a day, so I would spend more energy focusing on my kid. But I will tell you that facebook has turned into my connection to the world, to other people!  It’s like a substitute for the real life interaction I’m not getting. I also said I wouldn’t watch TV during the day. And thankfully we don’t have cable, so I don’t have that many options in the first place (Judge Judy is only entertaining like, once), but I do turn on the news just to see other adults. In some delusional way, I feel like if I can see other adults, I’m somehow connected to the outside world. It’s crazy, I know. (“Good morning Amelia, I just love that dress! And that necklace, oh my. You just look fabulous today. Oh, you like my yoga pants? Thank you! They’re from Target…”)

How’s Sleeping Going? It really depends on what day you ask. Our ideal night is that Isaac goes to bed around 7pm, wakes at 11pm and 4am to eat, and then is up for the day at 7am. That happens… occasionally. Over the last month he’s been up anywhere from one to six times at night. It’s like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates: you never know what you’re gonna get with him! We have seen him gradually wake less & less, so we convince ourselves our “sleep training” is working & we’ll keep going. And we tell ourselves that no 16 year old cries out for his mama at night, so he will get it at some point! :-)

I also try to remember that God made Isaac just the way he is, even those little small details. He made Isaac to be a great eater, mediocre sleeper, fantastic roller-over, & every detail about Isaac’s life is known by God. And is supposed to be that way! Every smile, cry, laugh, whine, & temper tantrum are seen & known by the God who created him. Who am I to say, ‘No, not what I wanted. I’ll fix him.’ He has his temperament & personality for a reason!

Confession: We always swaddle Isaac for naps & bedtime, but recently he’s just too strong & breaks right out of it. Unfortunately, he still doesn’t have much control over his hands so he often wakes himself up after he breaks out of the swaddle. So, we just spent $75 on two zippity zip zipup something or other that you put the baby to sleep in that’s supposed to transition them out of the swaddle. Yes, we are crazy. TBD if it actually works…

That’s all for this episode, hope you all make it a wonderful month & we can’t wait to celebrate Isaac’s half birthday next month! ;-)

Confessions of a First Time Mom: Month 4

Phew, Isaac turned four months old yesterday! What a smart & handsome little boy we have. With that said, as I always hope to be honest, I have to say that this month has probably been the hardest one so far. Let me preface all this by admitting that I have come to accept myself as a high-strung, Type A personality. Mix that with a baby & you’re going to have some problems. I’m trying to work on becoming more flexible & laid back (a la my wonderful husband) but it’s a struggle! I have felt more busy & preoccupied with Isaac-Care this month than I did after the first weeks were over.

Happy 4 months Isaac!

If you’ve seen any of my posts on facebook or talked to me at all this past month, you probably know what this blog is going to be about…

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep: This is the one singular thing that has consumed my mind this month. It is so hard to think about anything else when you’ve got a baby who doesn’t sleep more than three hours in a row. We started out so well- he has even slept 6 1/2 hours straight before! But Isaac hit three months old & something in his little brain changed. He no longer slept well in our bed (squirm central! Sheesh!), so we moved him to his own room. After that transition there were nights we were up every. flipping. hour. You expect to be sleep deprived when you have a baby, but what you may not expect are these sleep regressions. I thought we were supposed to be getting better?? What happened?!? I’ve been left confused, frustrated, & desperate for sleep & a solution.

Isaac in his crib

What I really didn’t expect is to have these feelings of frustration & anger, along with what I admit is emotional instability. Living day in, day out by your baby’s demands is hard. Often, I don’t know what to do. I feel helpless, upset, anxious, stressed, trying to do what’s right… what’s best for my baby. Getting up in the middle of the night for the 4th time. Not being able to console a crying baby. Putting your baby to (what you think is) sleep, only for him to cry the minute you get tucked back in your warm bed. Listening to him cry in his crib & not knowing what to do. Seeing him try to scratch his eyeballs out even though you swear he’s not tired because you just spent the last hour unsuccessfully trying to put him to sleep. Shhhh-ing, rocking, swaying, patting, bouncing endlessly to try to help this little one doze off. Knowing he’s tired but fighting him to go to sleep. Sitting, crying in the hallway because you just don’t know what to do. I’ve been there.

In my half conscious state, I’ve battled feelings of not being happy with this little guy that we prayed so hard for. Then I feel guilty that I even have those feelings. Of course I’m in love with this little man, but it’s not all cute clothes, smiles, & cuddles with Mommy. There are real feelings of anger, frustration, & sadness at times. All worth it, mind you, but nonetheless, still very real.

Not to be all depressing, because this month Isaac has made us happy in countless ways as well. Coming close to laughing, rolling over, blowing bubbles, grabbing at toys & splashing in the bathtub are just a few of the many moments we love with our son. But I would be lying to you if I said it’s been all fun & easy. Michael always knows how to put it in perspective for me, & he reminds me that someday (hopefully sooner than later), Isaac will sleep through the night. He will learn to put himself to sleep, & stay asleep. It will happen. We’re just still waiting.

‘What, Mama?’

I don’t have the energy to edit this blog, so if it’s a bit disorganized, well, that’s how my life is right now so it’s actually fitting. :-)

Random Confession: I’ve started cussing at inanimate objects. I don’t usually cuss at all, really, however something has happened to my mouth. I’ve cussed at the dog for being too annoying, my coffee mug for spilling, the floor for creaking, the baby monitor for transmitting a baby cry, the truck driving by for being too loud, & the diaper for leaking. It’s not my fault, really. It’s just something that happens when one is sleep deprived. =/

Random Confession:  I have been working to extend Isaac’s daytime naps, since he usually sleeps only 30-45 minutes at a time and most of the time wakes up tired. So one day, after sleeping only 30 minutes, I cuddled & tried to help my boy back to sleep, but he wouldn’t give in. So I wrapped him up in the Moby where he did fall asleep (yay!). However, I wasn’t prepared for this, so I spend the next hour and 35 minutes (yes I counted) standing in his dark room with him wrapped in the Moby with only my phone to keep me busy. And it’s no smartphone, people, as you can probably tell from my bad quality pictures. It cost me 10 bucks. I wasn’t about to leave the room (too much light), talk on the phone (too loud), go through the closet to find entertainment (too much movement), or do much of anything else but sway side to side. If that’s what it takes to get him to sleep…

Random Confession: The space heater we have in his room does not have a brain. Each time you turn it on you have to re-set the temperature you want the room to be. One time, in the middle of the night, I turned off the space heater & eventually turned it back on. It was sometime around 4am and I forgot to set the temperature. When he woke up at 7am (yes he slept 3 hours straight!!!), I walk in his room & the space heater says its 93 degrees. Oh my-lanta. I know, I know, you don’t have to say anything. Lesson learned. One known cause of SIDS is overheating, so I quickly thanked God for saving my baby then made a mental note to write a bad review about that space heater.

Hopefully by next month we’ll have some progress to report! Check back in then!

Love, Sara & Isaac

Confessions of a First Time Mom: Month 3

So I haven’t found much time to sit down & type with two free hands lately, but who would even want to when you have THIS to play with!

 He’s hard to resist, I know.

I’m waiting for the day when I no longer have embarrassing yet real confessions to make, but today is just not that day. Here we go! Month 3:

Am I Doing It Right?? And as a new mom, you’re looking for affirmation from anywhere that you’re not doing this whole thing “wrong.” You’ll wonder if you’re feeding your baby too much, or too little. If he’s sleeping in the right place. If he’s sleeping the correct number of hours. If you’re implementing the right bedtime. If you should put your baby on a feeding schedule. If you should give him a pacifier. If something you’re doing is making him fussy. There are so many questions & the unfortunate thing with our tech world is that there are so many answers! Everywhere you look there will be different opinions, opposing viewpoints, & so-called experts that just know the right way to parent.

In my short lived experience, I’ve had to learn to drown out the advice. Because in the end, that’s just what it is: advice. Nobody can tell you the right way to parent your baby. Maybe that technique worked for their baby, but don’t forget that your baby is different. It’s awesome to have so many resources available to help us with this mysterious thing called parenting, but your motherly instincts are a thousand times more worthy than reading 10 books on baby’s sleep. Do what works for your family, your baby, & then you can rest assured that you’re doing it right. After all, I have my serious doubts that bottle feeding instead of breastfeeding is what’s going to cause your child to become a serial killer. Don’t take these early months so seriously, you’ve got plenty of time to screw them up later.

“Your baby doesn’t compare you to other mothers. To him, you’re the best mother there is.” William Sears

Confession: I confess, I’ve Googled it! I’ve looked it up on Baby Center. I’ve asked mom friends. ‘So… When is your baby’s bedtime?' among other questions on sleep, feedings, naptimes, etc. Funny thing is, when I look it up or ask other moms, all the answers are different!! I need to ban Baby Center from my computer…

Yup, works for me! Hey, he’s sleeping!

That works too…

He’s a happy, healthy little boy. I think we’re doing just fine thankyouverymuch. 

Be Thankful & Pray: Every minute he’s getting bigger & growing into the independent toddler, the teenager who thinks his mom is crazy, the adult son who never calls his mom (right Sandra??). Be thankful for the hard moments, for the middle of the night feedings, for the blank stares, as they won’t last forever. But, there’s no reason not to pray for a little relief & help now & then. Being a mom is hard work. You’ll hear it every 5 seconds, but it’s true: The time goes by so fast, so enjoy it while you can. One of the best pieces of advice my husband has given me so far is to remember that each stage is temporary. The good & the bad. Enjoy the good, & rest assured the bad will pass.

Confession: I pray nightly that Isaac would get at least 3 hours of consecutive sleep. I figure it’s better to be specific so God knows exactly how to answer my prayer. ‘Please help Isaac to sleep at least 3 hours straight tonight. 5 is better. Amen.’

Sleeeeeeeeep baby, sleeeeeeeep.

First time noticing a toy!

 

                         Sitting up!                                                            Kind of…

First bottle! 

First meltdown in public! Yaaaay! 

Pacifier Queen: I never knew I would develop this amazing skill, but I have learned to put a pacifier in a moving, wailing mouth without even looking. Those pacifiers pop out of Isaac’s mouth as if he’s trying to shoot it across the room. But I swear he likes it. So, because I believe taping it to his face would probably not be the best mothering decision I’ve ever made, I have to just keep putting it back in. Paci pops out. Mom puts back in. Hundreds of times a day (ok I’m probably exaggerating). But close.

Confession: I’ve been driving down the interstate when the paci pops out, whimpering ensues, I reach back, find the paci, check to make sure it’s right side up, feel around Baby’s face, find the mouth, stick it in, & hold until Baby takes over & falls asleep again. All while watching traffic around me, obeying the speed limit, & not swerving into the next lane. Now THAT is a skill.

“Hmm, yes. I do believe I love this paci.” 

Awake or asleep, that thing doesn’t stay in! 

Mama Body: Ok, so by now I really am over the whole “Waaa-I’m-still-flabby” phase & I’m onto the “How-can-I-be-content-with-my-looks-in-the-least-amount-of-time” phase. In all seriousness, I’m prepared to move forward & accept my new ‘Mama Body.’ If I wanted my old body, I wouldn’t have my baby, & the choice is the easiest one ever. It’s just another change that a new mama has to accept & adjust to. How did I get over myself, you might ask? Two things, really. The first is this Jim Gaffigan skit. I really encourage you to spend the 7 minutes & watch it:

Jim Gaffigan: 4 Kids

If you can’t watch the whole thing, there’s a quote in the skit that’s really funny & in a strange way helped me come to peace with my new Mama body: “A woman can grow a baby inside her body, and then somehow a woman can deliver a baby through their body, and then by some miracle a woman can feed a baby with her body. And when you think of the male contribution to life… it’s kind of embarrassing really.” AMEN!

Also, my friend Lauren posted this article that is just another reason to let go of my insecurity & focus on my role as a mom instead of stress about my physical appearance. I want to be in the picture.

I’ve created a Someday List. Someday, I’ll get back to these things: straightening my hair, painting my nails, wearing jewelry & heels, wearing makeup, shopping for jeans, working out, cooking real dinners, & worrying about my weight. A woman’s insecurity with her body never goes away, but for now, I’m putting that off for later.

Confession: I’m still wearing my maternity jeans. Yes, 3 months later. Shut up. I actually love them. I wish all jeans had a generously stretchy waistband with no zipper or button. Wouldn’t that just make most women feel better about themselves anyways?

Here I am proudly sporting my Mama Body! (and my maternity jeans hiding a bit of the post baby belly)

And here’s my reason for getting over myself & being happy to sport my new self! :-) 

Sorry Baby! Who knew that as much as a Mama loves her baby, she’s responsible for so much physical harm to her precious little one. The absolute worst is at the first immunization appointment, the nurse tells you to hold down your baby’s arms while she jabbs him multiple times in the leg. You feel like an accomplice to torture. It’s awful. On a not so bad note, you might poke your baby in the eye on accident, bump their head while trying to get them in the carseat, scare them while trying to make them laugh, clip their fingernails a little too close & cause minor bleeding, pour bath water in their eyes while trying to rinse their head, and/or bend their body awkwardly to get them into their clothes. Not that I’ve done any of those things, I’ve just heard other moms say they’ve done them…

Confession: I’m not confessing to anything in the list above, just so we’re all clear. ;-) But Isaac has these razor sharp fingernails (I prefer to call them talons) & no matter how much I try to bite, file, or clip them, somehow there are still sharp points that he uses to cut open his face!  “Please don’t scratch your eyeballs,” has become a common phrase in our household. So, we got little baby talon covers from another Mama friend (smart one she is) so he can’t scratch himself anymore. Pure genius!

Some of the damage 

He’s not so sure about the talon covers…

Nope, he likes them!

 Haha, they work!

When all else fails, just use socks!

That’s all the time I’ve got this month, but I hope you’ll join me next month when I’m sure there will be more confessions to come! Until then, I hope you Mamas-to-be aren’t quitting your pursuits to have children, & I hope you Already-Mamas know I promise to never again look at you funny when your child is making a fuss at the grocery store. I get it. :-) xoxo

 Isaac says, later people!

My Year of Less: 2013

My resolution last year was to accomplish all 12 things on my 12 in 2012 list. Let’s take a (slightly embarrassing) look at how that turned out:

1. Read the entire Bible. Was awesome to take it so seriously. I loved it, & plan to do it again this year. 

2. Read 24 books. If you check out my ‘Books I’ve Read’ page, you’ll see I’ve read 23!! But I’ve skimmed & started-but-not-finished many more, so I’m counting it. Hey, this is my blog & I can do what I want. :-)

3. Write to our Compassion child, Masereka, once a month. I don’t want to talk about it… :(

4. Save money. We can probably be more intentional about this, but we really are trying!

5. Pay off debt. My student loan was paid off! Yaaaay freedom!

6. Have a baby. This all but wipes out my plans for a 13 in 2013 list. :)

7. Make a quilt. Bahaha I did try, then I learned I can’t even sew straight. Maybe after a little more sewing practice I’ll try again.

8. Go to the Denver Aquarium. We hadn’t gone yet by the fall, & I didn’t feel like walking around for hours at that time, so we figured we’d save our passes for when our Nemo is old enough to enjoy it too.

9. Find a favorite Ramen restaurant. Yummmm! If you haven’t tried Ramen (traditional, not packaged college-student style), go find one! My favorite was Kobe An in Lakewood & Michael liked Domo in downtown Denver. Read more here!

10. Do something big for Michael’s 30th birthday. So, I can’t cross this off but I’m ok with it because I learned an important lesson. I wanted to do something big for Michael, but I learned that Michael didn’t want something big. So we had a dinner out with some friends then just he & I went to the mountains for a weekend (and had pizza & BBQ) & he was perfectly content. What’s more important is that he got to do something he enjoyed.

11. Grow something I can eat. Ummm… all I did was kill a plant this year. Definitely didn’t expand my gardening abilities. But now that we’re settled in our new home I’m hoping next Spring that will change!

12. Start a new tradition. I wasn’t very intentional about this, but we do want to start doing 5280 Restaurant Week each year. Denver has a big list of nice restaurants that offer a couple a meal for $52.80 that would normally cost a lot more. I wanted to start a Christmas Eve tradition, but I learned that Isaac wasn’t all that excited about cuddling up on the floor & watching a movie. Maybe in a few years. =/

7 for 12! More than 50% alright! Ok, not exactly the grade I was hoping for, but this is exactly why this year will be my Year of Less. If I couldn’t accomplish 12 things in a year before we had a baby, what makes me think I can accomplish 13 things in 2013? Instead of adding more onto my plate for 2013, I’m going to take a step back & simplify, expect less.

So instead of goals or resolutions for 2013, I have My 3 Priorities. These will be my help as I make choices as to how I spend my time in 2013. It’s based off Mark 12:28-31 which says, “One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

#1: God

#2: Family

#3: Everything Else

#1: God: It is my desire to make God the center of my life. I fail at it all the time, but want to grow in my relationship with Him & really make this a priority. After all, if you really believe something to be true, won’t you pay attention to it?

How?

Read the whole Bible

Pray- keep a journal of significant verses & thoughts, & prayers (think of Abileen from The Help!)

Church- serve & be a part of a community of people at Calvary Church

I believe that God provides ways to serve & express faith in Him throughout the day, I just have to be open to actually doing them. Like, I might feel a nudge to call a friend, or buy something for someone, or even just pray for someone. Instead of ignoring that nudge, I should just do it!

Read more books on the subject of faith to help me grow in knowledge & confidence. Some books I have on my list are: Sacred Marriage, Grace for the Good Girl, Feminine Appeal, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, The Case for Faith. Any other good suggestions?

#2: Family: The most important relationships I have on this earth are with my husband & now my son. I really want to focus on them this year & give them the best wife & mom possible.

How?

Husband: Encouraging him with my words, serving him with a willing attitude, not harboring anger or resentment (aka working on communicating better), intentionally speaking his love language more often, doing things I know he likes (playing games, watching movies, baking chocolate chip cookies)

Isaac: Giving him my undivided attention is my main focus. This means shutting down facebook & email & only checking each twice a day. Also, I’m going to stop reading so many blogs that tell you how to be a good mom & better run your household. They’re wonderful blogs, but instead of reading how to be a good mom, I want to practice being a good mom. I’ve chosen 1 blog to follow & it’s called GraceFull Mama. Also, I want to watch less TV (sorry Dr. Phil). Actually, I’d like to watch no TV, except for sports & movies.

#3: Everything Else: So many people I know are so busy, myself included. Sometimes I feel like I can’t keep up with life because of everything I’ve said yes to, then I take a look and realize I’m not even enjoying all the things I’ve said yes to. Not to mention I often put many of my ‘Sure-I-Can-Do-That’ commitments ahead of my husband & now my son. Something about that just doesn’t feel right, so I’m determined this year to change it. If it’s going to go before God or my family, it isn’t going to go at all. At least, that’s the idea…

How?

Fewer commitments! (I have ideas on this but will talk about them as I de-commit!)

Work on my inability to say no. This includes confronting the struggle I have of people pleasing & wanting everyone to like me. I might say no to you this year, I’m just warning you.

That’s it! That’s all I want to focus on for a whole year. I need freedom. I need focus. I need to say no. I need less.

Christmas Card

This Holiday season has felt busy & full for our family, as you could probably guess. But, my motto these days is better late than never, so without further ado, here’s our 5th annual Hollar Merry Christmas Happy New Year card! I think the only person who won’t see this is my grandma (‘What’s a computer?’), so I’ll be sure to send her a few pictures via snail mail.

So, you know, we had this baby. I could probably post a gazillion pictures of him & stop there & everyone would be happy. But, I’ll tell you, a lot happened this year! So skip to the last third of the post if you just want to see a gazillion baby pictures. For the rest of you, our year in review…

Early in the year we found out we were expecting, & I’ll tell you it was almost more shocking than exciting. We were trying, but it didn’t take us very long to get pregnant, so we didn’t think that positive test would come so quickly! That started a year full of doctor’s appointments, classes, tests, ultrasounds, & more education about babies & childbirth than I ever could have thought!

We also got to go to the Broncos playoff game vs. the Pittsburgh Steelers in January, which was one of the most amazing football games ever! Overtime, Tebow to DT, 80 something yards for the touchdown and the Broncos winnnnnnn!!!!! If you watched it you know what I’m talking about. Well, we were there, baby! It ranks up there as one of the best sports moments I’ve seen live. Right there with the Rockies win over the Padres in the wildcard tiebreaker in 2007.

We knew that we wanted to try to sell our house before the baby came. We were required to stay in our house until May because we got the first time homebuyers tax credit three years earlier. So in early Spring we started prepping our house for sale. We put it on the market in April & had a full price offer in 10 days! We then began pretty frantically looking for a new house. The housing market here in Colorado has always been pretty strong, so we did find a few houses we liked but they were off the market before we could put in an offer! We were tremendously blessed by a couple in our church who let us rent half of their duplex while we finished our house search. So, we moved from our old home to a duplex to our new home all in a matter of months. Not to mention I was 4-6 months pregnant at the time. Thank God for wonderful friends & family who helped so much! We found our new house in June & were moved in by July. We’ve been loving it ever since!

Garage Sale!

Bye bye Perry Street! 

Moving… Bleh. Moving twice? UGH!! 

Loving the new house!

Except for the lime green & yellow bedroom…

Ahh, much better. Just messy! :-)  

In June we celebrated 4 years of marriage by taking the day off work & getting great seats for a Rockies game. If you know anything about baseball, the Rockies were horrible this year and not surprisingly, they lost pretty bad. Not the best present, but it was still fun.

Also in the summer we sold our Yamaha Zuma scooter & bought a motorcycle! Michael loves riding it to work when it’s not too cold, & I love watching him put on a helmet. =)

We went camping at Lake McConnaughey in July, which was fun but soooo hot! We had a great time with some friends but ended up leaving a day early. This Mama was ready for some A/C and a shower! We hope to take Isaac camping this summer because we both enjoy it so much.

 Grizzly loved the lake

In August we had a fun BaByQ as a shower for Baby Nemo at our new house. We had some family come from out of town & we were surrounded by wonderful family & friends. We felt so blessed just to have people there to celebrate with us. It was definitely a great time for us this year!

In September we celebrated Michael’s 30th Birthday with some friends at a BBQ restaurant for dinner. Then just Michael & I took a weekend trip to Grand Lake. We stayed in a cute lodge, watched some football games, went out to eat, & just relaxed. It was a refreshing time for both of us & as always, great to spend some quality time together, especially before the baby arrived!

Nemo was due on September 29th, but the month passed with no indication he wanted a September birthday… Things stayed pretty calm & uneventful until…

Isaac! Born 10/11/12 at 1:23pm at Swedish Hospital in Englewood. Definitely the biggest moment of the year!

Newborn:

 

Month 1:  

 

   

 

Month 2: 

Isaac turns 2 months! 

In November I opened an Etsy shop, which is basically your own little online store where you can sell handmade goods. I’ve found a love for crochet, so I’ve been selling some fun hats for babies through adults. Check it out here! They make cute gifts for new babies, birthdays, or just for fun!

 Isaac sporting the Sock Monkey

 My cousin’s beautiful daughter Evelyn in her Owl hat!

I also went back to work part time, but have been able to work from home, which has been a huge blessing. Many moms say they’re ready to go back to work when the time comes, which I understand! But I’m so happy to be able to stay home full time with Isaac. It’s hard to juggle all these new roles (whose idea was it to open an Etsy shop?!?) but Michael & I are enjoying every minute & we look forward to what 2013 has for our family!

As I look back on 2012, I see how my faith really grew & was stretched. Not knowing where we were going to live caused some anxiety, but God is faithful & provided exactly what we needed. Having our first baby has been amazing but incredibly challenging, but God is faithful to give us what we need in the moment to care for our little man. There are many stresses in this life, from jobs to finances to relationships to time management, but God truly is faithful to give us what we need when we need it. That’s been the biggest lesson of the year- God is always trustworthy to give us what we need when we need it.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” ~Philippians 4: 19-20

Here’s to a new year, with new challenges, new adventures, & new loves. May yours be the best year yet.

xoxo,

The Hollar Family