So I haven’t found much time to sit down & type with two free hands lately, but who would even want to when you have THIS to play with!
I’m waiting for the day when I no longer have embarrassing yet real confessions to make, but today is just not that day. Here we go! Month 3:
Am I Doing It Right?? And as a new mom, you’re looking for affirmation from anywhere that you’re not doing this whole thing “wrong.” You’ll wonder if you’re feeding your baby too much, or too little. If he’s sleeping in the right place. If he’s sleeping the correct number of hours. If you’re implementing the right bedtime. If you should put your baby on a feeding schedule. If you should give him a pacifier. If something you’re doing is making him fussy. There are so many questions & the unfortunate thing with our tech world is that there are so many answers! Everywhere you look there will be different opinions, opposing viewpoints, & so-called experts that just know the right way to parent.
In my short lived experience, I’ve had to learn to drown out the advice. Because in the end, that’s just what it is: advice. Nobody can tell you the right way to parent your baby. Maybe that technique worked for their baby, but don’t forget that your baby is different. It’s awesome to have so many resources available to help us with this mysterious thing called parenting, but your motherly instincts are a thousand times more worthy than reading 10 books on baby’s sleep. Do what works for your family, your baby, & then you can rest assured that you’re doing it right. After all, I have my serious doubts that bottle feeding instead of breastfeeding is what’s going to cause your child to become a serial killer. Don’t take these early months so seriously, you’ve got plenty of time to screw them up later.
“Your baby doesn’t compare you to other mothers. To him, you’re the best mother there is.” William Sears
Confession: I confess, I’ve Googled it! I’ve looked it up on Baby Center. I’ve asked mom friends. ‘So… When is your baby’s bedtime?' among other questions on sleep, feedings, naptimes, etc. Funny thing is, when I look it up or ask other moms, all the answers are different!! I need to ban Baby Center from my computer…
Yup, works for me! Hey, he’s sleeping!
That works too…
He’s a happy, healthy little boy. I think we’re doing just fine thankyouverymuch.
Be Thankful & Pray: Every minute he’s getting bigger & growing into the independent toddler, the teenager who thinks his mom is crazy, the adult son who never calls his mom (right Sandra??). Be thankful for the hard moments, for the middle of the night feedings, for the blank stares, as they won’t last forever. But, there’s no reason not to pray for a little relief & help now & then. Being a mom is hard work. You’ll hear it every 5 seconds, but it’s true: The time goes by so fast, so enjoy it while you can. One of the best pieces of advice my husband has given me so far is to remember that each stage is temporary. The good & the bad. Enjoy the good, & rest assured the bad will pass.
Confession: I pray nightly that Isaac would get at least 3 hours of consecutive sleep. I figure it’s better to be specific so God knows exactly how to answer my prayer. ‘Please help Isaac to sleep at least 3 hours straight tonight. 5 is better. Amen.’
Sleeeeeeeeep baby, sleeeeeeeep.
First time noticing a toy!
Sitting up! Kind of…
First bottle!
First meltdown in public! Yaaaay!
Pacifier Queen: I never knew I would develop this amazing skill, but I have learned to put a pacifier in a moving, wailing mouth without even looking. Those pacifiers pop out of Isaac’s mouth as if he’s trying to shoot it across the room. But I swear he likes it. So, because I believe taping it to his face would probably not be the best mothering decision I’ve ever made, I have to just keep putting it back in. Paci pops out. Mom puts back in. Hundreds of times a day (ok I’m probably exaggerating). But close.
Confession: I’ve been driving down the interstate when the paci pops out, whimpering ensues, I reach back, find the paci, check to make sure it’s right side up, feel around Baby’s face, find the mouth, stick it in, & hold until Baby takes over & falls asleep again. All while watching traffic around me, obeying the speed limit, & not swerving into the next lane. Now THAT is a skill.
“Hmm, yes. I do believe I love this paci.”
Awake or asleep, that thing doesn’t stay in!
Mama Body: Ok, so by now I really am over the whole “Waaa-I’m-still-flabby” phase & I’m onto the “How-can-I-be-content-with-my-looks-in-the-least-amount-of-time” phase. In all seriousness, I’m prepared to move forward & accept my new ‘Mama Body.’ If I wanted my old body, I wouldn’t have my baby, & the choice is the easiest one ever. It’s just another change that a new mama has to accept & adjust to. How did I get over myself, you might ask? Two things, really. The first is this Jim Gaffigan skit. I really encourage you to spend the 7 minutes & watch it:
If you can’t watch the whole thing, there’s a quote in the skit that’s really funny & in a strange way helped me come to peace with my new Mama body: “A woman can grow a baby inside her body, and then somehow a woman can deliver a baby through their body, and then by some miracle a woman can feed a baby with her body. And when you think of the male contribution to life… it’s kind of embarrassing really.” AMEN!
Also, my friend Lauren posted this article that is just another reason to let go of my insecurity & focus on my role as a mom instead of stress about my physical appearance. I want to be in the picture.
I’ve created a Someday List. Someday, I’ll get back to these things: straightening my hair, painting my nails, wearing jewelry & heels, wearing makeup, shopping for jeans, working out, cooking real dinners, & worrying about my weight. A woman’s insecurity with her body never goes away, but for now, I’m putting that off for later.
Confession: I’m still wearing my maternity jeans. Yes, 3 months later. Shut up. I actually love them. I wish all jeans had a generously stretchy waistband with no zipper or button. Wouldn’t that just make most women feel better about themselves anyways?
And here’s my reason for getting over myself & being happy to sport my new self! :-)
Sorry Baby! Who knew that as much as a Mama loves her baby, she’s responsible for so much physical harm to her precious little one. The absolute worst is at the first immunization appointment, the nurse tells you to hold down your baby’s arms while she jabbs him multiple times in the leg. You feel like an accomplice to torture. It’s awful. On a not so bad note, you might poke your baby in the eye on accident, bump their head while trying to get them in the carseat, scare them while trying to make them laugh, clip their fingernails a little too close & cause minor bleeding, pour bath water in their eyes while trying to rinse their head, and/or bend their body awkwardly to get them into their clothes. Not that I’ve done any of those things, I’ve just heard other moms say they’ve done them…
Confession: I’m not confessing to anything in the list above, just so we’re all clear. ;-) But Isaac has these razor sharp fingernails (I prefer to call them talons) & no matter how much I try to bite, file, or clip them, somehow there are still sharp points that he uses to cut open his face! “Please don’t scratch your eyeballs,” has become a common phrase in our household. So, we got little baby talon covers from another Mama friend (smart one she is) so he can’t scratch himself anymore. Pure genius!
Some of the damage
He’s not so sure about the talon covers…
Nope, he likes them!
When all else fails, just use socks!
That’s all the time I’ve got this month, but I hope you’ll join me next month when I’m sure there will be more confessions to come! Until then, I hope you Mamas-to-be aren’t quitting your pursuits to have children, & I hope you Already-Mamas know I promise to never again look at you funny when your child is making a fuss at the grocery store. I get it. :-) xoxo
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