The Spirit God Gave Us (2 Timothy 1:7)

 
If you are a Christian, if you believe that Jesus is the Son of God, then God has given you his Spirit. I am no Holy Spirit expert, and frankly it's a pretty confusing and complicated concept. But what I do know is that the Spirit is in our lives, daily nudging us, speaking to us, opening our eyes to things we may not have seen on our own, and generally helping us to live the way God wants us to. This is "the Spirit God gave us."

I don't know about you, but I often feel timid in my parenting role. I second guess myself, I wonder if I'm doing it "right," I ask for others' opinions hoping they'll just tell me what I should do, I doubt my decisions if they're different from others, etc. All these things are the exact opposite of what God intended when He have us His Spirit. Even in the role of motherhood, God does not intend for us to be unsure, weak, or wishy-washy. This Spirit He gave us is to be used in ALL areas of our lives, motherhood included!

He wants us to use His Spirit for power, love, and self-discipline.  

Power, not in the sense of dominating power over our children, Lord help us, but power over timidity and doubt. Power over the schemes of the devil, trying to throw us off course. Power over the negative influence and opinions of others. Power to be confident and sure that you are a good mother.

Use His Spirit to love. Love your children well, love your spouse well, love your neighbors well. Regardless of the bumps in the road that day, the emotions you think you can't help, the situations that may make it difficult to love. His Spirit can and will help us love well anyways.

Use His Spirit for self-discipline. There are areas in our lives where each of us needs to grow, mature, and allow God in to change us. None of us are perfect wives, mothers, family members or friends. And we cannot change ourselves for the better simply with more will-power. But with the help of the Spirit, we can all improve on our weaknesses.

It's very easy to be timid and doubt yourself as a mom. There are so many opinions and critics out there. But just remember those feelings of insecurity are not from God. That doubt is not what God intend you to feel. Focus on listening to His Spirit in your heart as you walk through your day, and allow the doubt to fade as you gain power, love and self-discipline!

Your Best: 2 Timothy 2:15

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15

This verse really stuck out to me as my purpose for writing this blog. This is what I want to say I've done. For this blog, you first need to know that I am not ashamed that I am a Christian. I encourage you to argue (politely, please, I don't like online yelling), ask questions, or to just to keep reading, even if you don't share my beliefs.

For all of us, the big idea here is to do your best. Didn't we first hear this back in like, kindergarten?! It still applies! What more can we do? If we expect too much from ourselves, we are thinking we should do better than our best. An expectation like that will just lead to disappointment and feelings of failure. On the other hand, if we don't put in the effort to achieve our very best, we are letting down not only ourselves, but our families from experiencing the best we have to offer.

I will do my best to correctly handle the word of truth. I do not know everything. Or even very much. But, I promise to give you my best. My goal is to post twice a week, but I make no promises. And just so we get this little piece out of the way now: I have no editor. I do not have a degree in writing and I don't always remember what should or shouldn't be Capitalized, comma-ed, colon-ed: or when I should stop writing because it's a run on sentence and run on sentences make you seem unsmart and... (now is good??). Also, I make up words. Like unsmart.

For you, I want to encourage you to do your best to walk this Christian walk, and do not be ashamed. You know what your best is better than anyone. I'm confident in saying that your best should include being in the Scriptures yourself. God wants to speak to you through His Word. He has a special message for your heart at just the right time. Your best for Him will mean learning from Him, I promise you that. 

One thing that has really helped me focus on Scripture throughout the day, when I'm in the midst of my everyday life, is to pick one verse a week to focus on. I write it down. I rewrite it. I look at it often. I say it out loud. And then usually I write it down again. For me, this is the best I can do. It's not realistic for me to memorize a verse a day. Or to spend an hour in quiet time at 5am every morning. But, it would be untrue to say that I don't have time at all to learn more Scripture. I just don't have time. Lie. That's not your best. God asks that we do our best.

Are you currently doing your best? What is one area where you need to lower your unrealistic expectations of yourself? What is one area where you need to put in more effort to achieve your best?

To You, Mama

So, my year of "Confessions of a First Time Mom" was pretty fun. I enjoyed documenting all the blunders & oopsies that occurred in my son's first year. I was completely in survival mode. Keep the child alive. You have succeeded. Now, things are changing. It's still important to keep the child alive. But, he is starting to talk, and express emotions, and have temper tantrums, and walk into the street (true story), and understand the world around him. My parenting world is changing. It's no longer just figuring how to get Isaac to sleep longer at night (although, we are still working strongly on that). It's becoming about teaching and disciplining and shepherding and correcting. I thought I didn't know what I was doing in the first year of Isaac's life. Oh, just wait. This is gonna be a whole new ballgame.

I am a Christian. A believer in Jesus. Therefore, I hope my God shapes how I parent. And because I truly have no idea what I'm doing (you haven't caught on to that yet?!), I have purchased a variety of devotional books looking for some help. Some wisdom on what the Scriptures say about mothering. What I've found has been somewhat disappointing. One author is talking about how she's struggling with her toddler throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of a diaper change and she says something like, "And in the midst of this diaper change, I stopped to think, this is how God must see us."  And I'm like, "What?!? No you didn't! Nobody thinks about that while they're wiping a screaming baby's poopy butt!!" I just... couldn't relate. Or I read something like this: "My perpetual Presence with you can be a continual source of Joy, springing up and flowing out in streams of abundant Life. Let your mind reverberate with the meanings of My Names." And my half conscious mind is like... wha?! So, after a few tries, I just haven't been able to find something that's practical and Biblical and helps apply Scripture to my life.

So, in September of last year I started reading the Bible and asking God to show me what it was saying about motherhood. At first I thought I wasn't going to get much, because there's really not a lot in Scripture directly speaking on motherhood. But, wow, how I have been surprised. God has made verses and words and stories stick out to me that I never would have expected. I started keeping track of these readings and now want to blog about them. For moms, for parents, for anyone who wants to read it, really. I do not claim to be a theological expert, or even very knowledgeable about the Scripture's meaning. I just pray, read, and write what I think God shows me. Nothing fancy. I am truly not an incredibly smart person. I get confused by the writings of C.S. Lewis. It took me 7 years to read through the Bible for the first time. I forgot the verse I "memorized" last week. I have learned a lot from my time with children's ministry. You should not feel like you can't do this for yourself. Because if I can, you can too!

I try to be very conscious to take the Scriptures for what it says, not what I would like it to say. I think when we take single verses and try to manipulate them to fit our need for specific answers, we are not really growing in our faith. My plea to you is to explore the Scriptures for yourself, and not just believe whatever someone else says.

I chase a one year old all day. I change diapers. I make dinner (most of the time). I do laundry. I pay bills, and run errands, and bake cookies, and go to the park, and stand in line at the post office. And I love Jesus. I think He has shown me some wonderful things about motherhood from His Word. I'd like you to see that Scripture is relevant to your life now. I won't fake it to be like the Manicured Mother on the cover of that one book I threw away, or to make things sound flowery and religious. I'm all about honesty and real life. I hope you'll join me on my next great adventure. This is for you, Mama. 

Books to Read 2014

I've finalized my list of books to read in 2014! It's very difficult to narrow down the list, because 1) I love to read and so many books sound great. And 2) I always think I can read more than I actually do. 22 books are on my list this year, and that is a s-t-r-e-t-c-h.  But hopefully I can get all these books read!

I have my list on a site called Goodreads. If you're a book-lover and haven't found this site yet, I highly recommend it! You can keep track of all the books you've read, are currently reading, and want to read. You can rate books and leave reviews and comments. And, you can make a Books to Read in 2014 list! (Click on the link to go to my list in Goodreads.)

In case you don't want to explore Goodreads, or you are simply too lazy to click on the link (I can't blame you), here's my list:

Fiction: 
Divergent by Veronica Roth
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
Songs of Redemption (Chronicles of the Kings #2) by Lynn Austin
The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty
War Brides by Helen Bryan
A Lineage of Grace by Francine Rivers (actually a compilation of 5 books so that should extend my annual total to 26!)
The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen

Nonfiction:
Forgotten God by Francis Chan
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp
Let. It. Go. by Karen Ehman
Bringing the Gospel Home by Randy Newman
The Art of Neighboring by Jay Pathak
Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney (on my 2013 list- it was that good I want to read it again!)
The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian
Capture His Heart by Lysa TerKeurst
Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver
Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow
Believing God by Beth Moore
The No Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley (Yes we're still working on this and no I don't want to talk about it! ;-)

Here's to a wonderfully literate 2014! What are you reading?!?

Christmas Photos

I took a bunch of pictures one sunny afternoon and had to pick just a few for our Christmas card. (Which, if you got it, sorry about the dark photo, boo. It went something like this:

Step 1: Michael said I should get a proof first but I thought, 'No, I'm sure it will be fine.' 
Step 2: I ordered and picked up 40 photos the day before the "Arctic Blast" of 2013. The main picture is clearly too dark. 
Step 3: We are stuck at home for 5 days.
Step 4: I say, "Ah, screw it." Sign, stamp & mail out all cards during Step 4's hibernation period.

Step 5: Next year I'll order a proof.)

Anyways, off the bunny trail. Back to the photo dump!

Get ready, baby. Here we go...

"Smile baby!"

He thinks smiling means sticking out your chin and looking up to the sky.

Looks like a little man!

Playing hide-and-seek with mom behind the tree. (One of many attempts to capture a sweet smile.)

Isaac saying, "Where did they go?" Speaking of the airplane that flew over.

I believe he is chewing on an animal cracker here...

Look at those beautiful brown eyes!

Footballs are for kicking, right?!

Looking up at an airplane.

Oh how this boy makes my heart melt!

"Whatever Mom."

"Ok, enough."

"Look at my handsome vest!"

Exploring sticks in the front yard.

Running away from the camera, I'm sure!

Sweet boy is zoning out a bit. He had a little cold that day, but it didn't stop me! :-)

Looking for airplanes again.

Nom nom, finger.

Yes! We're done!

Not the one we used for the Christmas card.

Just a little post-photo-shoot relaxin'.

"For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

~Isaiah 9:6

Merry, Merry Christmas all! May you have a peaceful, restful, thankful season. 

Favorite Books of 2013

I always have grand ideas of how much reading I'm going to do in a year. 30 books doesn't look so bad when you've got them stacked up, especially when you're thinking of an entire year, but the reality is that I don't have as much time for reading as I used to. I don't read 30 books a year anymore. And these days, I'm usually reading on the Kindle app on my phone while Isaac is napping. 

I did get through a few good ones this year, however. Each title is a link to the Kindle edition on Amazon if you're interested in checking it out! Here are my favorite books from 2013:

Nonfiction: 
7 by Jen Hatmaker- Will make you count your (many) blessings & make you evaluate your current lifestyle. My most favorite is the purse giveaway. :)
Radical by David Platt- Probably my best book of the year!
Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney- A great guide for Christian women.
Passport Through Darkness by Kimberly L. Smith- Y'all. Read this book. It's about life in Darfur (Southern Sudan) for orphans and women. The stories will hurt, but you'll leave with a desire to pray harder and give more to those who haven't been as lucky as you.

Fiction:
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn- Crass but very entertaining
Rebecca by Daphne DeMaurer- Loved the classic literature feel with a quick moving plot and memorable characters
Night Light, Dawn's Light, True Light, & Last Light by Terri Blackstock- Clearly I got hooked by book one, enough to read all 4 in the series.
Gods and Kings: Chronicles of the Kings, Book 1 by Lynn Austin- I love when authors take Biblical stories and make it into a work of fiction. I plan to read the rest of this series too!
Zorro by Isabel Allende- Fun, quick read even though it's quite long. And I loved the ending. Brownie points.
Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers- One of my favorite historical fiction books of all time. I think this was my... 3rd time reading? 4th maybe? :)


Other books I read that were Eh:
Cold Fear by Rick Mofina- Definitely not my favorite book of the year, but I was entertained. Follows the story of a missing girl in the Montana mountains. I don't like when books are filled with characters you can't keep track of, and that was the case here. 
Let Them Eat Cake by Sandra Byrd- Kind of a silly, easy read. About a young, single girl working at a French Bakery in Seattle. Also part of a series but unless the rest are free I probably won't read.Bossypants by Tina Fay- Not all that funny.
The Vow by Kim & Krickitt Carpenter- Definitely different than the movie (surprise, surprise). It was ok but not very memorable.
Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen- Ok I only got to 21% but I'm just not a classic literature girl! I feel like I should have loved it because I loooooove the movie & miniseries but I just couldn't get into it. I think it's because Isaac has stolen some of my brain.
North & South by Elizabeth Gaskell- I only got to 5% of this one. See above comment...

Sixteen books completed in 2013. Not too bad! I'm working on compiling my list for 2014 and would love to hear your suggestions!!

Confessions of a First Time Mom: My Little Toddler!

I like not having a deadline, but have missed filling you in on all the shenanigans that go on around this (new!) house. We are officially moved into our new home in Denton, Texas! Well, it's not actually a new home, the neighborhood was built in the 80s, but it's new to us. We are still working on unpacking boxes, hanging pictures, getting new windows and scraping an inch of ice off everything, but for now I consider us officially moved in. Let me know when you are headed through North Texas and you can have our guest room (that's not actually set up yet but will be soon)! 
 
In the meantime, Isaac will be 14 months in a few days and is now a full-blown toddler! He's walking (really fast- it's possible that he almost walked into the street last week. I mean, this boy is fast. But I'm still faster.) He's saying lots of words- Mama, Dada, Baby, Na (snack), Shs (shoes), Baba (bubbles, Broncos, button, basically any word that starts with B and has two syllables), NiNi (night night), Ba (ball), Boo (book- this boy loooooves books), and you know, other baby words that probably aren't that interesting to you anyways. 
 
Ok, here we go:
 
Dress Up
 
I'm really hoping my husband doesn't read this, because even he doesn't know this confession and he might not like it so much. I accidentally dress Isaac up in girly clothes & jewelry. Gah. That sounds bad. In my defense, I don't really mean to. It's more like, I'm unpacking some scarves or hanging up some necklaces & I think, 'Let's put this on Isaac and see how he reacts.' Ok, so it's not so bad. And the girly clothes? Let me explain. I like the legging-type pants that stay tight on his legs because he's so active that his pants always hike up and he's walking around like a wanna be gangster. That concerns me. (Ok, it's more about his calves being cold, but that still concerns me.) So I bought some leggings, and I probably knew that they were girl pants, but I bought them anyways. So, he's wearing girl clothes. 

Are these pants girly?!?!

The Car...
 
Oh the car. It's 25% our friend and 75% our enemy. Sometimes he loves the car, most of the time he hates it. I get a little flustered when we get in the car. One time I forgot to buckle his carseat. Well, I remembered the chest part but not the crotch part. I'm driving down the highway (at 60 MPH, what is wrong with me!?) and I suddenly have the realization that I'm a complete idiot and forgot to buckle my son appropriately in his safety seat. Here's me, in 2.5 seconds flat, stopped and in the backseat, on the side of the highway, buckling the crotch part (is there a better name for that part of the carseat?!). Continue on.
 
Another time, he's actually being fairly quiet while driving, so I'm thinking he's either sleeping or miraculously content with a toy. Then I hear squeaking sound that I can't quite put my finger on. I look back, and sure enough, he's full on chomping on his shoe. Cleaning his teeth on the rubber of the shoe. The dirty, well worn shoe. Do I stop for that? Nope. Continue on.
 
Then other times, this happens:
 


I Have a Cleavage Problem 
 
I have never, ever, never, ever, ever had a cleavage problem before in my life. I have been a member of the IBTC since I got what you might call boobs. And I didn't even get those until high school. I've always been a purchaser of push up bras and size small shirts. I've never had to worry about leaning over too far or my back hurting from the extra weight. And no matter how hard I squeezed my arms together, I could never even get my boobs to touch.
 
Now? Wow. What happened?!? I have boobs, and I can't control them. Nursing a baby has given me what I've always wanted: cleavage. But now, I don't really want it. They are a sacred, beautiful, private vessel for my baby, not a public, sexual, luring attraction for the public. But now that I feel that way, I have a battle on my hands trying to keep them in. Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror or I look down and think, "Oh God, I'm sorry. Let me just pull my shirt up to my neck and hope it stays for 10 minutes." Who knew?!?
              I caught myself in the mirror and was seriously surprised that this is even possible…

Sure, You Can Play with That
 
Isaac is a cuddly baby. He loves to be held and played with and read to. And I'm going to take advantage of that while I still can. However. There are times when I just need Isaac to be entertained for at least 10 minutes. I need to put on my makeup. I need to do breakfast (and lunch) dishes. I need to use the freaking bathroom without holding him. Ha. And since he's a very active toddler, he can be hard to entertain. Just giving him a toy and laying him on the ground doesn't work anymore. He wants to get into stuff, dangit.
 
My motto has become it's fine with Mama as long as the time spent entertaining him outweighs the time I spend cleaning it up. Case in point: The classic tupperware cabinet? Totally worthless. He's interested for a few minutes, & I find lids all over the house for hours. But tampons & nail polish? Golden! He's entertained for seriously 20 minutes & I just throw everything back under the sink. Spoons and plastic dishes? Yes. In the laundry basket? Why not. Moving boxes, packing peanuts, Christmas ornaments, leaves, the baby monitor, crochet hooks, mail, and more are all fine with Mama. As long as it can't cut skin, break, be swallowed (well... even that depends), cause bruises or tears, it's usually considered a great toy. :)
 
 
Thank you, Isaac and Mr. Lego Man, for helping unload the dishwasher. 

I knew this "Confessions" thing would never end. I have some exciting things coming up in the new year so stay tuned! Until then, have a wonderful, messy, peaceful and restful holiday season. I will post some photos from Isaac's unprofessional photo shoot before Christmas! Happy Holidays!